Don Teach correctly suggests that we should introduce others to the
joys of the player piano.  I indeed do just that, hauling my piano
around in a horse trailer and setting it up at events as an attraction,
usually putting it right beside our pony rides.  I do not need to tell
why I do this, because you all know that already.

Here is a list of the reasons why I shouldn't...

  Rain.  The piano is not happy with bad weather, the rolls even
  more so.

  Shyness.  The piano demands that people sing along with it.  A few
  notice that it's Great-Grandma's karaoke, but even that's little help.
  "I can't sing, YOU sing," they tell me.  Dammit, my voice wears out
  faster than the old pianner.  I need THEM to sing!  ALL of them, and
  LOUD.  I've taken to shouting, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!"  (The best roll
  for encouraging singing is Let Me Call You Sweetheart.)

  Wrong Roll Syndrome.  If I put on the Wrong Roll, everyone drifts
  away, except sometimes for the person who asked for it.  (The Wrong
  Roll varies from venue to venue.  I don't mean the Wrong Rag by Jenks.)

  Weirdness.  The pianola is too weird for teens.

  Competition.  There's some kind of misunderstanding, and I find the
  spot I'm in is next to a band, or a food vendor's loud generator.

  Self-taught musicians.  The sit down at the piano and hand play it,
  badly.  Their buddies come around to hear ol' Jimmy play.  No one
  sings.  No one plays any rolls.

  Muscles.  They ache the next day.  From pumping?  No, from putting
  the piano back up into the trailer.  (Usually I draft four strong
  helpers to avoid this problem.)

  Danger.  The piano hasn't fallen on its back yet.  But there have
  been a couple of almosts.

  Ears.  My ears ring for a while afterwards, like when I've used my
  chainsaw without earplugs.  (My piano's sound carries well outdoors
  without an amplifier.)

Is there anyone besides Doug Henderson and myself doing outdoor pianola
exhibitions anymore?  Dave Levin, who used to have one in Harvard
Square, retired years ago after a stroke.  Perhaps a few brave souls
can overcome the difficulties I listed above, and get out there and
demonstrate our nearly incomprehensible hobby.

Peter Neilson