Dear Gary,  Thanks for your article, "Santa Statistics".  You
proved that Santa can not exist, due to basic natural laws.

It's quite normal that Santa can not exist:  he is, after all,
an illegal copy of the genuine Dutch "Sinterklaas".

Sinterklaas, on the other hand, does exist.  Let me inform you.

Sinterklaas is the bishop of Myra (Turkish).  But: he lives in Spain.
Each year, on the occasion of his birthday on December 5th, he does
visit Holland.  He is using a steam-boat, so carrying a lot of presents
is no problem.

He has a big book, in which he writes down everything he knows about
the behaviour of the Dutch children, as far as they do believe in him.
And he happens to know everything!

The bad guys will be punished, ultimately taken back to Spain in a bag.
The good children (and in Holland you will only find very nice,
obedient, well-educated, good listening, a.s.o., children) will be
rewarded.  He is giving them presents.

So Sinterklaas, despite the fact that Holland is a small country, does
have a lot of work to do.  But: our Sinterklaas is a clever man.

He does not use a reindeer, called Rudolf-With-the-Red-Nose.  (I wonder
where the red nose comes from, since Santa also has one).

Oh no, our Sinterklaas is riding a very special white horse, with a
black nose.  This horse is so special, because it's trained to ride on
the roofs of our houses, allowing Sinterklaas to throw his rewarding
presents through the chimney into the shoe of each child.

(If a flying reindeer can not be ruled out, why should it be impossible
to train a horse to walk on roofs?  After all, horses are very
intelligent animals, are they not?)

You might say, "But even in a small country like Holland it will be
impossible for Sinterklaas to visit all children in such a short
period."  Wrong! I told you: he is very intelligent.  He has helpers!

From Spain he does bring a numerous lot of Zwarte Pieten (Black
Peters).  They are his logistic operators.  Nobody knows exactly the
number of them, but he does have very many.  Since he is a very old
man, he is not able to do all the roof-riding work by himself.  But he
can make anybody a deputy Sinterklaas.  These do have to care for their
own Black Peters.  So even not-coloured Black Peters are possible.

It is even so, that if all and everything is failing, Moms and Dads may
take over the duties of Sinterklaas, especially the part of giving
presents.  This is because Sinterklaas is a friend of the children, and
he does not want to disappoint any of them.

Those deputies must dress just like Sinterklaas, but they do not have
to ride a roof-horse.  (It has been tried -- that's where the nightmares
come from !)

One advantage: Sinterklaas, like Santa Claus, also has a red nose.
Or better: he gets a red nose while doing his work.  It's common sense
to offer Sinterklaas some booze.  After all: he is doing his work in
Winter, so it's cold out there, on the roofs.  And he allows his
helping hands also to accept a drink or two (or three, four ....).
So there is no lack of volunteers for the job!

I told you our children's friend is a clever man!

So now you may understand that, in Holland, Sinterklaas does exist.
But you have to believe in him.  Otherwise you may get no presents.
However, if you grow older, you might become a deputy for many, many
years.  And that's great fun.

I hope Sinterklaas will read this, also.  Maybe, next year, I will
get presents again ...

Jan Kijlstra

 [ What's that sound on your roof, Jan?  Who is behind the red nose,
 [ peeking in your window?  See who is outside.  Oh!!!  Where did the
 [ gifts come from?  Books about words, books about pianos and music,
 [ books about history, and about the kind and generous people of
 [ the World.  And in your shoe: a bottle of cognac, to warm the heart
 [ and soul of a Christmas Deputy.  What do you hear outdoors?
 [
 [       "Prettige Kerstdagen en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar"
 [
 [ -- Robbie