[ I found myself thinking of Jim Heyworth receiving a heart transplant
 [ (Digest 970728), and so I searched the Archive and found this humor
 [ from the past.  The thread, at the time, was about chemicals and
 [ safety.  -- Robbie

Hi Robbie,  Guess I caught your eye with the subject line ?

With some of the "environmental" thread on the AMD [now 'MMD'] I thought
you might be interested in the following which floated into my mailbox
from a friend the other day.


Subject: Warning -- Dihydrogen Oxide !

Dihydrogen Oxide (DHO) is colourless, odourless, tasteless, and kills
uncounted thousands of people each year.  Most of these deaths are caused
by accidental inhalation of DHO, but the dangers of Dihydrogen Oxide
do not end there.

Prolonged exposure to it's solid form causes severe tissue damage.
Symptoms of DHO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination,
and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte
imbalance.

Not only is DHO dangerous to humans it is also extremely hazardous to
the environment.  It is a major component of acid rain, it contributes
to the greenhouse effect, and is a common cause of erosion of our natural
landscape.

Worldwide contamination by DHO is reaching epidemic proportions.  Quanti-
ties of the chemical have been found in almost every stream, lake and
reservoir in Australia today.  But the pollution is global, and the
contaminant has even been found in the Antarctic.  So far governments
and environmental watchdogs have been indifferent to the problem.

Despite the danger DHO is widely used as an industrial solvent and
coolant, in nuclear power stations, as a fire retardant, as an additive
in certain junk foods and other food products, and in a wide variety of
other uses.  Companies routinely dump DHO into rivers and oceans, and
nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal.

The Australian government (In fact no government) has refused to ban the
production, distribution or use of this damaging chemical due to its
'importance to the economic life of the nation'.

In fact the U.S. Navy and other military organizations are conducting
experiments with DHO, and designing multi-billion-dollar devices to
control and use it during warfare situations.  Hundreds of military
research facilities receive tons of it through a highly complicated
underground distribution network.  Many store huge quantities for
later use.

Act now to prevent further contamination.  Find out more about this
dangerous chemical.

Cheers!

Jim Heyworth in Sechelt