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MMD > Archives > November 1996 > 1996.11.10 > 06Prev  Next


The Internet Does Dr. Suess
By Jody Kravitz

[ Editors Note:
[
[ Last night's poem by Brian Thornton reminded me of this poem which
[ has been circulating on the Internet. In the poem which follows, many
[ of the words have meaning in the computer world: packet, socket, port,
[ Gauss, hash, crash, window, protocol, icon, reboot, hang, floppy,
[ RISC, RAM, ROM, microcode instructions, flash, cable, table, network,
[ button, mouse, rejected, hall, screen, distorted, wavy, error, report,
[ memory, address, floppy, disk, trash, corrupted, data, system, label,
[ cable, and tunnel.
[
[ Jody

The Internet Does Dr. Suess

---Dr. Suess in Cyberspace---

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this?
What a shame, sir!
We'll have to find you
another game, sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of Gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
They you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer, and be sure to tell your mom!

(Message sent Sun 10 Nov 1996, 09:48:33 GMT, from time zone GMT-0800.)

Key Words in Subject:  Does, Dr, Internet, Suess

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